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It’s a Small, Bad World — II February 5, 2009

Posted by Khawarizmiya in Psycho, recovered from blogspot.
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Don’t misunderstand me.

As days went by, I’ve become –gradually- a less considerate, more insensitive person. Most of the times I’m kidding, thinking that my sense of humor is appealing to everyone else, forgetting that not everyone is equally close to me and would actually get me, but sometimes things get serious. Naturally, I would justify such situations in which I behaved rudely or inconsiderately some way or another with other people, by claiming that they deserved it –which they most probably did *tongue out*-, but again, isn’t that just really typical? Isn’t it typical to hear justifications of all different kinds and levels from mean people who’ve caused harm to others? Hamas Rockets are a live example of such lame justifications, and I’m not comparing myself to Israel.. Just saying.

OK, let’s put the facts together.

There exist situations where I’ve been inconsiderate with people, selfish, and put myself first. For all these situations I believe I had justified my behavior to myself by thinking either A) they deserved it, or that B) Ideserved indulging myself or C) both. Now when I try to re-evaluate these situations again, I realize that.. they deserved MORE! In fact, the level of my rudeness is totally INCOMPARABLE to how I’ve been treated! And some people out there just totally fail to understand that. They could judge you for doing the smallest things but forget that they did/are doing a lot more worse! They forget that their irresponsible, selfish behavior in the first place is what makes others react accordingly. Sometimes one thinks s/he is in need for closure, and thinks that revenge or getting equal would bring closure, but I highly doubt that.

The question is, am I doubting it because I’m not courageous enough to do otherwise, or is this good nature (a)?

Update, on Feb 7, 2009

I never really knew that the name Al-Jabbar (الجبار), one of God’s 99 Holy names, has this deeply inspiring meaning (I’ll post the translation if I find a good one soon):

فيقال الجبار على المعنى الأول: (عائد إلى اسم الرؤوف).-المصلح أمور خلقه فهو الذي يدبر الضعيف وكل قلب منكسر لأجله , فيجبرالكسير ويغني الفقير وييسر على المعسر كل عسير , وهو الذي يجبر أصحابالمصيبات ويوفقهم على الثبات , ويعوضهم الأجر ويعوضهم في هذه الدنيا إنهم صبروا وثبتوا ولم يبد من أحد منهم جزعا ولا تسخط , كما أنه سبحانه يجبر قلوب الخاضعين لعظمته وجلاله وقلوب المحبين بما بفيض عليهم من أنواع كراماته وأصناف المعارف والأحوال الإيمانية , وإذا دعا الداعي فقال اللهم اجبرني فإنه يريد هذا الجبر الذي حقيقته إصلاح العبد ودفع جميع المكاره عن

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