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He’s Just Not That Into You. May 6, 2009

Posted by Khawarizmiya in entertainment, recovered from blogspot, relationships, Western Culture, women.

I wanted to wait to read the book before seeing the movie, but a friend’s comments just urged me to watch it.

It’s hilarious. A good laugh for every girl out there alright. Exposes many of the practices that women are exceptionally good at; misinterpreting men’s attitude towards them, misreading the signals, making too many assumptions, living on false hope, trying to read between the lines when there are no intended words between the lines!! Typical *smiles*.

Unfortunately, most women have a habit of attempting to decode men’s behavior towards them. Sometimes on their own, and most of the time with the professional assistance of their professional female-friends, which only makes things exponentially worse. Accordingly, they cling to the smallest things believing with great confidence that they are signs of admiration. They form attachments so easily –not to mention so soon– based on their own reading of the other person’s so-called signs.

/*6 year old boy hits 5 year old girl*/

5 year old girl: Why did you do that?

6 year old boy: Because you smell like dog poo.

/*5 year old girl runs crying to Mommy*/

Mommy: Connie, do you know why that little boy did those things?Because he likes you.

The message of both the book and the movie for girls is to wake-up. Men are usually straight-forward, but girls fail to understand that because they’re not. The author of the book starts it by stating..

“He’s not that into you, because he’s not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out!!”

Considering the cultural differences between our societies and the western society which the author’s book and the movie represent, the rules may not apply directly; however, the underlying concept is still applicable. Only in our culture, men’s “signs” and “actions” will have different forms. If you are a woman who doesn’t date, hence will not be subject to similar signs of expressing admiration towards you (such as being asked out, etc), don’t make that an excuse for you to start misinterpreting men’s actions, and justifying that by claiming they have no other option but to send you those signs, since they can’t directly approach you. Simply said, You know it when you know it. You don’t know it when you’re trying so hard to know it; when you’re struggling between the lines trying to find something floating here or there, that will only grant you temporal satisfaction, yielding to the one and only result you want to believe in so hard: He definitely likes me. Well guess what? He might not. Have you considered that option? Unfortunately, many girls are too proud to admit that. Yes, he might not like you. He might not want you.

Beth to Neil: “I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you’re gonna marry me”.

I’ve seen how men can be serious about being with someone. I’ve seen how they can be clear about it. No mixed signals, no games.. Just simple, plain, clear signs or words that reflect their intentions. What confuses me actually is the question: Whose fault is it? Is it really women who over-analyze men’s behavior or is it men’s responsibility for giving them something with potential for over-analysis? The latter could be the case and can take place in many worse scenarios that include giving women false hope or slipping off from commitments for example, but the problem being discussed in this post is more concerned with the former dilemma.

Gigi: “…Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave…”

He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)



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